COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . .
At 65 degrees above zero:
People in Florida turn on the heat.
People up North plant gardens.

At 60 degrees above zero:
People in Florida shiver uncontrollably.
People up North go sunbathing.

At 50 degrees above zero:
Italian and English cars won't start.
People up North drive with the windows down.

At 40 degrees above zero:
People in Florida don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People up North put on a flannel shirt.

At 35 degrees above zero:
Northern landlords first turn up the heat.
People up North have "one-more" cookout before it gets cold.

At 20 degrees above zero:
People in Florida die.
People up North close their house windows.

At zero degrees:
People in Florida fly to Brazil.
People up North take out their winter coats.

At 10 degrees below zero:
   Florida disintegrates.
Girl Scouts up North start selling cookies door to door.

At 20 degrees below zero:
Washington, DC finally runs out of hot air.
People up North allow dogs to sleep indoors.

At 30 degrees below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
   Northerners get upset because their snowmobile won't start.

At 40 degrees below zero:
Atomic motion stops.
People up North begin asking, "Cold enough for ya?"

At 50 degrees below zero:
Hell freezes over.
    Northern public schools will start 2 hours late.

At 60 degrees below zero:
Minnesota schools cancel football practice.
    Northern schools cancel but teachers are to "report for duty!"