A hearty welcome to the “snowbirds” who have returned to sunny Florida for another season of fun and games at ye olde Regency Oaks.

No one is more welcome than my favorite opponent, Charlotte Kartsonis. As evidenced in some of my previous stories, I am a big fan of Charlotte. Her play and demeanor are examples of how a bridge player should behave - win, lose, or draw. Chew on the following tidbits in my 10+-year “battle” with Charlotte.

PICK A SLAM

In a club game, Richard Wan and I pass three boards with a sitout upcoming, so I pull up a chair behind Charlotte who holds my hand: S-KQJxxx, H-void, D-x, C-KQxxxx, Marion Ellingsen opens 1 Diamond and RHO bids 2 Hearts, alerted as weak. Charlotte bids 2 Spades and LHO jumps to 4 Hearts. After two passes, Charlotte bids 6 Clubs! Now that I have your attention partner, which black suit slam should we be in?” Marion passes and the play is relatively easy. The dummy holds: S-xx, H-Kxx, D-Axxx, C-AJxx. Charlotte ruffs the opening heart lead, pulls trumps, and concedes a spade to the ace.

ONE LUCKY GUY

It’s Thursday at Wally Klugiewicz’s emporium and Adam Kaplan and I are sitting N-S when Wally as RHO opens 1 Heart. I hold: S-Axx, H-Kx, D-Jxxxx, C-KQ. I know that my diamonds are putrid and Charlotte always preaches that your trump suit should be solid or at least semi-solid when overcalling at the two level. Ah, what does she know! I bid 2 Diamonds and, after Charlotte passes, Adam raises to three. Wally mulls his options, doubles, and everyone passes. I am dead meat. I envision Adam raising me with 7 points and three diamonds to the 10. Charlotte is licking her chops with five diamonds to the AKQ. But I am wrong. After Charlotte leads a heart, Adam tables a nifty dummy which includes three diamonds: AQ9. I can feel the laser beam penetrating my brain from Charlotte’s eyes. What a lucky so-and-so; three diamonds making for a top. Charlotte mumbles something under her breath and I vow to buy Adam lunch at the upcoming sectional which he richly deserves.

GOOD CALL, MARION

One of my favorite stories involves three hands I didn’t play. John Bush and I are sitting N-S at table 5 in Section A. After four rounds, director Marion Ellingsen calls for a hospitality break. John and I stretch our creaky backs and who comes sauntering over from table 4 but Charlotte and Barbara Ludwig. Barbara says to Charlotte, Let’s beat up these New England turkeys.” I reply, “Come on ladies we need three tops.” Just then Marion says, “All East-West pairs skip a table.” With one round to go, I get a last-minute coffee and check the scores. John and I are first N-S in section A with a 61+%. I almost spill my coffee when I check the E-W scores. Charlotte and Barbara are 75+%. Are you kidding me! John and I finish in first place with a 62+% - Charlotte and Barbara are at 77.65%! Check with Bev Tillberry, but I think that’s the highest score ever recorded at the Spring Hill DBC.

IS THAT GERBER?

Dave Miller and I are sitting N-S when Barbara (RHO) and Charlotte take their seats. Barbara opens 1 Heart, and after two passes, Dave doubles. I almost fall off my chair. Charlotte could not bid 1 NT forcing and I hold: S-xx, H-J10xxx, D-xxx, C-xxx. Between them, Barbara and Dave must hold 35 points! Barbara rebids her hearts, and after two more passes, Dave bids 4 Clubs. Barbara turns to me and with an angelic plea says, “Is that Gerber?” The question knocks my socks off. Dave and I begin to laugh uncontrollably and tears run down our cheeks. With a smirk, Charlotte says, “I think we should call the director. That’s unauthorized information.” Barbara chimes in with, “Yes, and she’s (Marion) our friend.” Barbara finally ends up in 4 Hearts which goes down. Is that Gerber?

Sincerely, Jim Somma {easycomments}