Oscar Wilde said "Life's too important to be taken seriously." A corollary is "Bridge can be too much fun to be taken seriously - all the time."

BIDDING COMMENTARY

Playing a forcing club, I open 1 and get a not unexpected 1 negative response (partner, “shesinfl,” is a passed hand, after all). I don't want the bidding to die at 1, so I bid a forcing 2, which is also an asking bid in Hearts. Partner rewards my optimism with 3, revealing she has at least Qxx in Hearts - but fewer than 4 controls. I bid 4 asking for her exact number of controls and she can admit to only two, bidding 4.

I know: we’re off four controls, I should bid 5 and be done with it, right? Well... [The Drifters “This Magic Moment” comes up in my earphones...I’m gone.]

If partner’s two controls are the pointed kings (Diamonds and Spades), we're off two aces. If, however, her two controls are a black ace, I may have other things to think about. I bid 4NT (original Roman Blackwood) and her 5 bid tells me she has an ace.

I have 17 hcp's and partner has fewer than 9. There are at least 15 hcp's lurking in the opponents' hands - yet neither opponent has peeped. Too, there must be a lot of black cards in the opponents' hands - yet, still, no noise from them.

I figure the field at best will be playing game in Hearts, with some only being in a partial. IF partner's ace is Spades, I may have time to tinker with Diamonds for a Spade discard or two from dummy. IF partner's ace is Clubs, I can discard a losing Spade on her Club Ace - IF the opponents don't cash two spades off the top. Worse case scenario: the opponents cash two Spades, lead a Diamond back through my hand, and the Diamond finesse loses for down two at trick three!

I'm sure there is a "Rule of IF's" somewhere, but sometimes - when you're having fun - rules are made to be broken...well, at least momentarily suspended. I bid Six Hearts.

The opening lead is the dreaded Spade - but not the ace or king, the 3.

Partner tables this dummy:

PLAY COMMENTARY

Only a lunatic, or a world champion, would lead away the Spade King on this bidding against a slam. To this point in the match, my LHO has neither displayed world champion skills nor hinted at being a lunatic. Too, his screen name, "ALASbridge," suggests a poor self concept and an acceptance of his low rewards in life. (Or maybe he just doesn't know how to spell.) Going with the former, I conclude "alasbridge" would never lead away from a king, committed to holding it jealously all the way to trick 13, if need be.

What about the second missing spade honor, the jack. "Alas" could have it, but probably not - he would never lead away from any honor against a slam! Could the Spade 3 be a singleton? Very unlikely: surely my RHO, “tidypack,” would have doubled my partner’s 4 bid holding KJxxxx. Since the Spade 2 is in dummy, the Spade 3 almost assuredly is low from three small.

It seems the Spade finesse is doomed and the opponent's will cash the Club Ace for down one (at least). But what if the Club Ace is with "Alas," not his "expert" partner, "tidypack"?

Upon winning the Spade, a Club return for “Tidy” is not obvious. In fact, dummy screams for a Diamond return. And that is what “Tidy” returns – a Diamond.

The opponents have attacked both my AQ holdings and I’m only at trick two! There doesn't appear to be any way around a Club loser - I don’t have enough Diamonds to discard all of dummy's Clubs - even if, somehow, I won four Diamond tricks. No squeeze is available.

But wait. What happened at trick one? Which Spade did I play from dummy? Noticing the Spade spots in my hand and dummy’s, I played low from dummy at trick one. Sometimes 9's and 10's are important.

Playing the Spade 2 from dummy at trick one, RHO, "Tidypack," wins the Spade Jack and returns Diamond 10. This pretty well confirms that the Diamond King is with "Alas." I rise with the Diamond Ace, "Alas" playing the Diamond 2 (he doesn't want to play a higher Diamond - that would tell me where the Diamond King is (smile)....

I observe, at trick three, there are no more Diamonds in dummy. I further note that soon there will be no more Spades in my hand.

But first, trumps. Cashing the Heart Ace and King bring down the three outstanding hearts - with "Alas" starting with a singleton queen. Now I lead my Spade 10 toward dummy. The king does not come up from my LHO’s hand (wow, that would have been a surprise: leading the 3 from K3 against a slam), and I win trick six with the Spade Ace.

Now I'm ready to get rid of my Club loser. Spade Queen from dummy: whether RHO, "Tidy," covers is of no consequence. In play, he did and I ruff.

Now what about the Diamonds. I had to use two of dummy's trumps when I played the AK of Hearts, so I can't ruff three Diamonds with two trumps. But I'll ruff the little one just to get it out of the way and to have an entry to dummy's Spade 9. I play the Spade 9, discarding the Club King.

Still, I have only one trump in dummy to take care of two Diamond losers. Wait, I only have one Diamond loser. And if I pretended the Diamond King were gone, I would have no Diamond losers. But, even LHO, "Alas," isn't going to go along with that trick. So, if I can't pretend the Diamond King is gone, I will make him disappear for real.

I play the Club 10 from dummy, just to let RHO, "Tidy," join in the fun and decide which Club he should play. He climbs up with the queen. No wonder he didn’t return a club at trick two. Missing the AKJ of Clubs and with 10xxx in dummy, returning a Club could have given up the slam-going trick.

I ruff the Club and lead the Diamond Queen. I know it's technologically impossible, but I swear I hear a little gasp from "alasbridge," then a sullen silence as the Diamond 6 floats out from his hand to lay with my Diamond Queen. I discard a small Club from dummy and claim: +1430 and plus 13 IMP's.

My favorite partner says "wdd" and I smile. “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid!” That was fun. Indeed. “Sweeter than wine....”

The complete deal was:

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