Shannon and I had a good laugh at the Palm Beach Regional about this. She's a great player and lovely redhead to boot.

In the summer of 1999, I formed a partnership with the late Dan Cunningham, a true gentleman and an avid student of duplicate bridge. Three important things then occurred: he convinced me to join the ACBL in November, we dropped Standard American, and we began to play Precision.

Our play improved so dramatically that I won “Rookie of the Year” honors in the Ace of Clubs category in Florida and I was ranked 12th nation-wide. My wife, however, deflated my inflated ego by saying, “How can a 64-year-old retiree be rookie of anything?” Thanks Mavis, I needed that.

Dan and I had several good showings in local Sectionals, so emboldened by our success we decided to play in our first regional, the Southeastern in Orlando. We lost a first-round knockout match and settled in to play in the evening Open Pairs (no MP limit) event.

As we came to one table, I was struck with a feeling of impending doom because the North-South seats were occupied by two lovely ladies - a redhead on my left and a blonde on my right. They wore black evening dresses with plunging necklines, and as we neared the table, I warned Dan not to look at the cleavage. Bridge is tough enough.

Although they greeted us warmly I had a queasy feeling in my stomach as we drew our cards. We are red they are white and RHO opens a weak 2 Spades. I double with my 19-point 1-4-4-4 hand and LHO bids 5 Spades. Poor Dan squirms uneasily and passes. It rolls back to me and I double again. This time Dan bids 6 Hearts but “red” bids 6 Spades. I double and down three gives us +500 but we are cold for 6 Hearts. Um, I wonder if Dan has any Tums.

On board two, “red” opens one 1 Spade, Dan overcalls, and “blondie” makes a negative double. I support Dan’s suit but “red” bids 3NT. I have a decent hand and I want to double but I pass. “Red” ducks the opening lead, takes the next one, and begins to run some winners. She loses a finesse to me and I lead back Dan’s suit. “Red” turns her hand over and with a pleasant smile says, “Down two gentlemen?” I wonder if the Hospitality Table has any Maalox.

Board 3 is short but not sweet. “Red” opens 1 Spade and Dan bids 2NT. “Blondie” flashes a smile and says to me, “for the minors?” I nod yes and she bids 4 Spades. With five clubs headed by the only point in my hand, I make what I think is a gutsy 6 Club bid. “Red” looks at the board (they’re red, we’re white) and bids 6 Spades. Dan wins a minor suit ace and “red” claims.

As we about to leave, I ask “red” if I can look at her convention card. She looks at me like I’m an idiot - the round is over buster. What she doesn’t know is I just want to know the name of the truck that ran me over. Shannon Cappelletti is stamped across the top of her card. Oh, brother. Dan and I just got beat up by a professional bridge player, one of the best in the country. But she smiled so prettily. Little fish don’t swim with sharks!

Sincerely, Jim Somma
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